Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Why Relationships Don't Work
Why Relationships Don't Work:
Relationships Don't Work, because man and women have different values, ethics, morales, and intentions in working collectively toward a successful relationship. Individually, we all have different views on how we want our relationship to manifest. The female what total control over the male, the male want dominance over the female. The male want the female to be happy in the early developmental stages of the relationship and once she become too dominating, the male lose interest. The female want the male to provide everything and when he refuses the female lose interest.
The bottomline to a successful relationship is viewing our life from a "reality" point of view and setting realistic goals. We have to understand in whatever society we are living, we must focus on survival. A successful relationship take team work, there is no room for either partner in the relationship to "sit around" complaining things are not working or have lazy attributes. To make the relationship successful, first, we must establish rules.
Without realistic and assertainable rules and expectations, the relationship will fail in the early stage; we must understand, we have different values. Therefore, collectively, we have to make a choice and incorporate values that are important in making the relationship work. For example, I may want to continue to hang-out with my friends, go to parties, or other activities that take me away from my partner. That would be a bad mastake, my partner will eventually get angry and fustrated with me, therefore, my relationship will fall apart. Partners, must, with absolute certainty, do things to stimulate cohension and be able to build trust and develop a solid state communication platform with the relationship.
It is important that both individuals in the relationship learn to communicate effectively, no screaming and listen to each other. Once we can communicate and listen effectively, we can establish a solid foundation for the relationship to grow. Most people don't realize the relationship is like a "baby". It need special attention twenty four seven, without this special attention the relationship will fail. Buying roses is not to lure a mate and other little trinkets does really do anything for the long hard road ahead.
We must focus on the things that enhances survival, the money we spend on roses, trinkets and other desirables that supposed to make a mate happy is an illusion. It would be better to invest money in stocks, bonds, realestate and other types of investments. Finance is the backbone of a successful relationship. Without financial planning, and both partners working together to accomplish this the relationship will automatically fail.
A lot of people start the relationship with wanting to travel, dine-out, buying expensive clothes, spending money on manicures and other expensive items. The focus have to be on investments and saving; it is hard to change bad habits to get to the nuts and bolts of a real successful relationship. Everyone are not equal financially, most couples start-out with nothing and some may not have education or a good paying job. Amazingly, 95% of the people in our society make between 15 and 20K per year. With this recession, this number is growing, therefore, couples need to focus on forcasting "hard-times" and from the start, adjust their relationship accordingly.
A lot of dating couples try to maintain their current life styles, but, we must "freeze" everything we did when we had no partner and focus on the relationship. This is hard because, we have programmed ourselves to believe we need certain people, material things and image to survive. Giving-up these things are hard to overcome after so long of being independent, which leads to selfishness and developing other attributes not consistant with a successful relationship with someone.
People constantly seek companionship and majority of people go from one relationship to another, this is bad, because we pick-up bad habits. People, doing their developmental stages of life, that are not raised in an environment consistant with learning about relationships and how to build a successful relationship tend to have a lot of difficulties adjusting. Approximately, 90% of people are from a broken home or raised in an environment where there were no "Father" in the household. Therefore, the offspring have no concept of a "Father" in the household except with exposure from other family or the extended family. Eventually, once the young adult male start his own family, his chosen partner could have come from a family where "father" was in the household, so, she has some concept of what role a "father" play in the household. If the female come from a household where the female dominated the relationship, then she will do the same as her mother.
This does not advocate, all people from household's without a "father" figure will fail in a relationship, but, chances are it will have some impact on how the female interact with the male or male with the female. There are chances that if there were a "father and mother" in the household and they didn't get along, the siblings would most likely find it difficult to have a successful relationship themselves.
When we take a microscopic look at our society, we will find there are millions of divorces per year, around the world, we can conclude, something is wrong with the union of "Man and Women" in the success of a traditional relationship. Then we look at the amount of "gay" relationships in the world and this is another indicator there is a problem with the traditional relationship.
As relationships in the numerous societies around the world began to fail we have to conclude there is a serious problem with "Man and Women". People are connecting with people from other countries in an effort to find the so called "soulmate". If we look at the numerous dating sites, you will find this is another indicator of the failed relationship, 98% of the people using these sites are divorced and seeking partners. Most end-up just engaging in another failed relationship or just so called "casual dating".
The truth of this matter of the failed "relationship" humans are visual and the new modern highly intelligent, professional looking, high tech, designed human is seeking someone with the looks, curve, nose, butt, muscle, 6 pack, hair, nails, tits, and gorgeous looks. Therefore, these are not values that make a successful relationship. People in our societies around the world are finding the traditional relationship boring. They are seeking fun, money, swinging, dance, partner trading, body figure, body language and all this lead to "sex".
We are finding this problem in every echelon of our society from the Presidents to the lowest income levels. The growing number of teenagers who engage in early childhood, find themselves raising their child without a "father". The "father" is too young to have such responsibility and so is the mother. But, it is getting worse, children are raising children or they are seeking abortion or just leave the baby in the hospital or a trash can. The Mothers of the teenagers have given-up, most are from broken homes and the teenager find themselves engaging in early sexual relationships that result in failure.
The teen males are not interested in raising a family, it was about "sex"; we have more young adults have already fathered 3 or more children at age 21. They have given-up on education and working toward being successful. We find more females raising the child with the help her immediate family.
I would like to hear your opinion on this subject, because I just scrapped the surface of this growing problem.
Thank you for your comments...."More To Come."
Charles
Relationships Don't Work, because man and women have different values, ethics, morales, and intentions in working collectively toward a successful relationship. Individually, we all have different views on how we want our relationship to manifest. The female what total control over the male, the male want dominance over the female. The male want the female to be happy in the early developmental stages of the relationship and once she become too dominating, the male lose interest. The female want the male to provide everything and when he refuses the female lose interest.
The bottomline to a successful relationship is viewing our life from a "reality" point of view and setting realistic goals. We have to understand in whatever society we are living, we must focus on survival. A successful relationship take team work, there is no room for either partner in the relationship to "sit around" complaining things are not working or have lazy attributes. To make the relationship successful, first, we must establish rules.
Without realistic and assertainable rules and expectations, the relationship will fail in the early stage; we must understand, we have different values. Therefore, collectively, we have to make a choice and incorporate values that are important in making the relationship work. For example, I may want to continue to hang-out with my friends, go to parties, or other activities that take me away from my partner. That would be a bad mastake, my partner will eventually get angry and fustrated with me, therefore, my relationship will fall apart. Partners, must, with absolute certainty, do things to stimulate cohension and be able to build trust and develop a solid state communication platform with the relationship.
It is important that both individuals in the relationship learn to communicate effectively, no screaming and listen to each other. Once we can communicate and listen effectively, we can establish a solid foundation for the relationship to grow. Most people don't realize the relationship is like a "baby". It need special attention twenty four seven, without this special attention the relationship will fail. Buying roses is not to lure a mate and other little trinkets does really do anything for the long hard road ahead.
We must focus on the things that enhances survival, the money we spend on roses, trinkets and other desirables that supposed to make a mate happy is an illusion. It would be better to invest money in stocks, bonds, realestate and other types of investments. Finance is the backbone of a successful relationship. Without financial planning, and both partners working together to accomplish this the relationship will automatically fail.
A lot of people start the relationship with wanting to travel, dine-out, buying expensive clothes, spending money on manicures and other expensive items. The focus have to be on investments and saving; it is hard to change bad habits to get to the nuts and bolts of a real successful relationship. Everyone are not equal financially, most couples start-out with nothing and some may not have education or a good paying job. Amazingly, 95% of the people in our society make between 15 and 20K per year. With this recession, this number is growing, therefore, couples need to focus on forcasting "hard-times" and from the start, adjust their relationship accordingly.
A lot of dating couples try to maintain their current life styles, but, we must "freeze" everything we did when we had no partner and focus on the relationship. This is hard because, we have programmed ourselves to believe we need certain people, material things and image to survive. Giving-up these things are hard to overcome after so long of being independent, which leads to selfishness and developing other attributes not consistant with a successful relationship with someone.
People constantly seek companionship and majority of people go from one relationship to another, this is bad, because we pick-up bad habits. People, doing their developmental stages of life, that are not raised in an environment consistant with learning about relationships and how to build a successful relationship tend to have a lot of difficulties adjusting. Approximately, 90% of people are from a broken home or raised in an environment where there were no "Father" in the household. Therefore, the offspring have no concept of a "Father" in the household except with exposure from other family or the extended family. Eventually, once the young adult male start his own family, his chosen partner could have come from a family where "father" was in the household, so, she has some concept of what role a "father" play in the household. If the female come from a household where the female dominated the relationship, then she will do the same as her mother.
This does not advocate, all people from household's without a "father" figure will fail in a relationship, but, chances are it will have some impact on how the female interact with the male or male with the female. There are chances that if there were a "father and mother" in the household and they didn't get along, the siblings would most likely find it difficult to have a successful relationship themselves.
When we take a microscopic look at our society, we will find there are millions of divorces per year, around the world, we can conclude, something is wrong with the union of "Man and Women" in the success of a traditional relationship. Then we look at the amount of "gay" relationships in the world and this is another indicator there is a problem with the traditional relationship.
As relationships in the numerous societies around the world began to fail we have to conclude there is a serious problem with "Man and Women". People are connecting with people from other countries in an effort to find the so called "soulmate". If we look at the numerous dating sites, you will find this is another indicator of the failed relationship, 98% of the people using these sites are divorced and seeking partners. Most end-up just engaging in another failed relationship or just so called "casual dating".
The truth of this matter of the failed "relationship" humans are visual and the new modern highly intelligent, professional looking, high tech, designed human is seeking someone with the looks, curve, nose, butt, muscle, 6 pack, hair, nails, tits, and gorgeous looks. Therefore, these are not values that make a successful relationship. People in our societies around the world are finding the traditional relationship boring. They are seeking fun, money, swinging, dance, partner trading, body figure, body language and all this lead to "sex".
We are finding this problem in every echelon of our society from the Presidents to the lowest income levels. The growing number of teenagers who engage in early childhood, find themselves raising their child without a "father". The "father" is too young to have such responsibility and so is the mother. But, it is getting worse, children are raising children or they are seeking abortion or just leave the baby in the hospital or a trash can. The Mothers of the teenagers have given-up, most are from broken homes and the teenager find themselves engaging in early sexual relationships that result in failure.
The teen males are not interested in raising a family, it was about "sex"; we have more young adults have already fathered 3 or more children at age 21. They have given-up on education and working toward being successful. We find more females raising the child with the help her immediate family.
I would like to hear your opinion on this subject, because I just scrapped the surface of this growing problem.
Thank you for your comments...."More To Come."
Charles
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